This Year's Models
An article in today's New York Times referenced a survey of "favorite chick cars" and "favorite guy cars" conducted by the NPR radio show "Car Talk." The winners are presented below.
FAVE CHICK CARS OF ALL-TIME
1. VW BEETLE
Beetlemania! Chicks still go wild over the Beetles. "The VW Beetle. A chick car, definitely. And made to be so. How? I know of no other automobile with a FLOWER VASE as standard equipment."
2. VW CABRIOLET
"All teen-age girls classify them as cute. 'Nuff said."
3. MAZDA MIATA
"I discovered this phenomenon when I got a Miata. "Girlie car." That's all I heard."
4. VW JETTA
"Anything by Volkswagen is a chick car. VW realized this years ago and joined forces with another company to sell guy cars--they called that company Porsche."
5. DODGE NEON
"Neons are Barbie cars: little and cute and rounded in the hips. Even in black, they are feminine and adorable, only just a bit tougher, like Tattoo Barbie."
FAVE GUY CARS OF ALL-TIME
1. FORD MUSTANG
"A back seat guaranteed to be too small for your mother-in-law."
2. CHEVY CORVETTE
"I believe the main aspect that determines the male/female state of a car is based on the engine-compartment-(hood)-to-cab-length ratio. A car such as a pickup or Corvette has a large hood-to-cab-length ratio."
3. CHEVY CAMERO
"...with twice the horsepower needed. Used to show other guys how manly you really are."
4. FORD F-150 PICKUP
"Any car with numbers or letters for a name, or tacked on the end, can become a guy car. For example, F-150 or Civic-SI."
5. DODGE VIPER
"It might be a guy car if there was a movie or TV show built entirely around it. Other examples include Burt Reynolds' Trans Am from Smokey and the Bandit, Nash Bridges' Hemi Cuda convertible, and Jim Rockford's Firebird."
MY GIRLFRIEND AMY'S FAVE CARS
1. MINI COOPER
2. TOYOTA SCION XA
3. MAZDA 3
4. TOYOTA SCION XB
5. SUZUKI AERIO
FAVE GAY & LESBIAN CARS
As voted by "Car Talk" listeners (whose comments are reproduced below).
1. DODGE NEON
"Five of us gay girls went camping with two gay males. The girls all showed up in small pickups, with various large dogs in the backs. The boys showed up in a purple Dodge Neon, with a little lap dog (which, of course, rode up front with them in the air conditioning)."
2. VW CABRIO
"The VW Cabrio should definitely be in the running. The cute, yet spiffy styling screams, "Urban Gay Male," especially with the top down."
3. SUBARU FORRESTER
"It has to be the Subaru Forrester. Way cooler than a minivan. When you are picking up the kids from school the other parents know you mean business. "Hey here comes that gay mom in her Forrester –better let her through. Yesterday someone cut her off so she four-wheeled past the flag pole to pick up her kid," the other moms whisper with envy."
4. VOLVO V70XC
"Gay men want to be politically correct, but have tons of fun. Many of us enjoy the outdoors, but are conscious of the environment. We want to arrive in style (and without having to get grease under our fingernails.) And let's not forget the children--either human or dog. So it's pretty clear to me . . . with AWD, world renowned safety including an inflatable curtain, a flexible roof rack system, heated leather seats, a kickin' sound system, and an outrageously priced yet extremely effective navigational system to find that new boyfriend's house, it is, in short, everything a man could ever want or need. The winner is a 2001 Volvo V70XC a.k.a., the Cross Country."
5. SUBARU OUTBACK
"I believe the vehicle of choice for the queer woman should be a Subaru Outback with a sunroof, accessorized with a thule rack (even if you are a couch potato) and CD player (for the Melissa Etheridge box set, personally I prefer Emmy Lou Harris) . (accessories are important in queer culture). This vehicle is sporty enough for the single girl and practical enough for the domesticated one. The Outback suggests a spirit of domestication and play. The logic: If single, the Outback states you're not opposed to attachment; if partnered, you're not opposed to say . . . children or, at the very least, pets. Absolutely, I would date a woman with an Outback. Unfortunately, I don't own one."
And here's an old chestnut, the "What Your Car Says About You" list.
WHAT YOUR CAR SAYS ABOUT YOU: THE LIST
Acura Integra
I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars
Acura Legend
I'm too bland for German cars
Acura NSX
I am impotent
Audi 90
I enjoy putting out engine fires
Buick Park Avenue
I am older than 34 of the 50 states
Cadillac Eldorado
I am a very good Mary Kay salesman
Cadillac Seville
I am a pimp
Chevrolet Camaro
I enjoy beating up people
Chevrolet Chevette
I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette
Chevrolet Corvette
I'm in a mid-life crisis
Chevrolet El Camino
I am leading a militia to overthrow the government
Chrysler Cordoba
I dig the rich Corinthian leather
Datsun 280Z
I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well
Dodge Dart
I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower
Dodge Daytona
I delivered pizza for four years to get this car
Ford Fairmont (See Dodge Dart)
Ford Mustang
I slow down to 85 in school zones
Ford Crown Victoria
I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them
Geo Storm
I will start the 11th grade in the Fall.
Geo Tracker
I will start the 12th grade in the Fall.
Honda del Sol
I have always said, half a convertible is better than no convertible at all
Honda Civic
I have just graduated and have no credit
Honda Accord
I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.
Infiniti Q45
I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.
Isuzu Impulse
I do not give a rip about J.D. Power or his reports.
Jaguar XJ6
I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.
Kia Sephia
I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.
Lincoln Town Car
I live for bingo and covered dish suppers
Mercury Grand Marquis (See above)
Mercedes 500SL
I will beat you up if you ask me for an autograph
Mercedes 560SEL
I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole
Mazda Miata
I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen-wheeler
MGB
I am dating a mechanic
Mitsubishi Diamante
I don't know what it means either
Nissan 300ZX
I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.
Oldsmobile Cutlass
I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts
Peugeot 505
Diesel I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List
Plymouth Neon
I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena
Pontiac Trans AM
I have a switchblade in my sock
Porsche 944
I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me
Rolls Royce Silver Shadow
I think Pat Buchannon is a tad bit too liberal
Saturn SC2 (See Honda Civic)
Subaru Legacy
I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu
Toyota Camry
I am still in the closet
Volkswagon Beetle
I still watch Partridge Family reruns
Volkswagon Cabriolet
I am out of the closet
Volkswagon Microbus
I am tripping right now
Volvo 740 Wagon
I am frightened of my wife
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