My Favorite Scientologist

is Beck...

the only guy who gives any credence to the religion of Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Juliette Lewis, Anne Archer, Jenna Elfman, Leah Rimini, Giovanni Ribisi, and so many other Hollywood wackos.

It's amazing how many celebs belong to the Church of Scientology. Here's a partial list of celebs in addition to those already mentioned, courtesy of Scientology Kills...



More Celebrity Scientologists
Catherine Bell (J.A.G.)
Chick Corea (jazz-rock fusioneer)
Corin Nemac (No! Not the star of my fave cult TV show Parker Lewis Can't Lose)
Edgar Winter (Albino rocker)
Greta van Susteren (formerly crooked-mouthed TV legal analyst)
Isaac Hayes (Godfather of Soul)
Jason Lee (skater-slacker turned actor, current star of My Name Is Earl)
Judy Norton (Mary Ellen on The Waltons)
Kelly Preston (Mrs. John Travolta)
Lisa Marie Presley (daughter of The King, ex of Prince of Pop)
Nancy Cartwright (No! Not the voice of Bart Simpson!)

Back To Beck

Anyway, I'm musing about Beck because my friend Ray - one of a new, elite breed of Hipster Librarians (who knew?) - recently blessed me with a copy of Mr. Hansen's earliest release, 1993's "MTV Makes Me Wanna Smoke Crack." Only 2000 copies of the EP single were pressed on Flipside Records in April 1993, in an array of clear to green to blue vinyl (the A-side's other Beck song was "To See That Woman of Mine," and the flipside of this Flipside release was Bean's "Privates On Parade" and "Rock>Scissors>Paper"). The version Ray burned me of "MTV" is the folk/lounge one featured on the 1994 Loser UK EP, but it still stands the test of time.

mtv makes me wanna smoke crack
fall out of the window and I'm never comin back
mtv makes me wanna get high
can't get a ride no matter how I try
and everything's perfect
and everything's bright
and everyone's perky
and everyone's uptight
I love those videos
I watch 'em all day........

(For complete lyrics, click here.)

Anyway, this slice of primal Beck made me reassess and reevaluate my main man. Beck's one of what Turner Classic Movies calls "The Essentials." TCM is talking about classic cinema of course, but in rock and roll parlance, Beck is one of the essentials of Rock 'n' Roll's Hall of Fame of Cool. Like Devo. Like Ric Ocasek. Like The Beatles. Like Louis Jordan, Bo Diddley, Little Richard, Link Wray, Johnny Cash, and Elvis.

So if Beck's into Scientology, I can't just dismiss it out of hand like Republicans or Jehovah's Witnesses or people who believe in UFOs or Bigfoot or that Elvis is still alive. Right? Damn you Beck, why'd you have to be a Scientologist!