Porn Star Haiku: Tory Lane

I don't say this much

But, God damn! You're a filthy

Fucking whore. Thank you!

Meaty, But Not Fat, and Still, Pretty

I like to track the search words that send visitors to this blog.

Apparently most of my readers surf in via one of the two posts I wrote last year on the unfortunate, late Julie Ellis. So unsurprisingly, the majority of search words are Julie Ellis related.

julie ellis overdose

julie ellis porn

julie ellis pornstar

julie ellis death

julie ellis died

what happened to porn actress julie ellis

etc.

But why on earth would anyone google "julie ellis johnny cash"?

Here's a list of what's turned up only in the past month. I can only guess at my typical reader's frame of mind.

"tory lane" "how many men"

ugly girl porn

"behind the green door" "cum shot"

porndar

jackie ashe dateline interview

blacks on blondes gangbang feel bad died overdose

reptile love women

she got a peach of a pussy

"meriam benezra" reptiles

make love not porn

reptile pussy porn

reptile pussy body hardcore

pamela peaks disgusting

My all time favorite will probably always be "meaty, but not fat, and still, pretty" which I only can assume was authored by someone who, like myself, has a thing for Amber Peach. What a poetic line! I doubt a more beautiful phrase has been googled.

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So Many Lanes

Ever given yourself a porn star name? You know how it goes: your first name comes from your childhood pet's name, your last is the street you grew up on. Mine comes out to Bucky Willow. This development has kept me out of porn as I have no desire to be a bottom in gay porn.

I often wonder how porn stars come up with their names. Wouldn't surprise me if some of them use the above protocol. I'm sure an overwhelming majority choose from a pool of stereotypical porn star/ stripper names (e.g., Amber, Britney, Nikki, Angel, Heather, Brandy, Chloe, etc). Of course you have your Sasha Greys and their obscure references. Who knew you could make sex flicks with Sascha Konietzko and Dorian Gray's monikers?

What about last names? There are the obvious references to sex (your Coxes and whatnot). There are certain last names that are abundant in porn for reasons I have yet to find out. Cody Lane, Sunny Lane, Vanessa Lane, Morgan Layne, etc. Why are there all these Lanes in porn? Is it their IRL surnames? Is there some sex reference I'm just not seeing? Is there some proto-sex goddess to whom all these women are alluding? Do all these signs point to Chasey Lain? Lois Lane? Does anyone know?