Friends In Low Places

I have them.

Nothing is worse than being at your day job, on the desk with your boss, and having a fan of your cable access TV show come in to praise your "porno episode." Except for a subsequent discussion by said fanboy into the proclivity of certain female adult stars for engaging in graphic non-procreative sex acts involving their anus. The thespian in question was Chloe Nicole(born Chloe Hoffman), shown at left, a bass-playing headbanger and former Poison groupie (she seemed to appear on VH-1 everytime they ran a segment on the L.A. glam rockers - for more on her Sunset Strip groupie days, which included doing the entire Warrant band one night, see her interview with Sleazegrinder magazine), and star (according to the Internet Movie DataBase) of some 176 porn films (if anyone's counting). Atomic TV interviewed her several times at the annual East Coast Video Show in Atlantic City, N.J., where she enthused about her work and expertise in that special area that Led Zeppelin once named an album after (In Through the Out Door).

Miss Nicole (sometimes spelled Nichole) was also famous for starring in the first film to be taken to court by the Bush Administration, Seymore Butts' Tampa Tushy Fest(1999).An IMDB user comments:

This is the video which is getting plenty of publicity due to content. It was shot in Florida in 1998 during the week of the annual Tampa Show and features a scene which is causing Seymore Butts plenty of problems: the scene with Chloe and Alysha Klass is a magician's nightmare: it includes the infamous Disappearing Hand Trick.

The disappearing hand trick is also known in the adult trade as "fisting" and it sure got Mr. Butts (real name Adam Glasser - you know, the star of Showtime's Family Business!) in trouble with the Feds, after the they raided his office in December 2000 and confiscated the master and all copies of the tape. The L.A. City Attorney later charged Glasser, his company, and his mother (his was literally a "family business"!) with one count of trafficking in obscene materials each as well as one count each of promoting the distribution of obscene materials. The case was flimsy, and in 2002 Glasser got off with a $1,000 fine after entering a "public nusiance plea" that helped the D.A. save face. If you're happy and you know it, un-ball your hands - and pay the man.

Chloe is definitely a fan of the practice. According to Violet Blue of Tiny Nibbles:

As Chloe said about fisting and the scene in Tushy Fest: "For me, it's almost a spiritual act. And in this particular scene, you can see that Alisha and I are having a very good time." Glasser commented on his motivations for including the controversial scene in the first place, saying: "I didn't do this fisting just to create a stir. I didn't do it because I wanted to create this controversy. I did it because I asked Chloe, 'What gets you off?' She said, 'I like it when somebody fists me.' It was so innocent! So I wanted to shoot it, and that was the reality of it... Something that causes somebody to have eyes-rolled-in-the-back-of-their-head orgasms, that's the kind of stuff that I want to see, and I think the people out there want to see it as well."

Anyway, I can attest to Chloe's enjoyment of the practice, hands down.
In fact, in 1999, the last year Atomic TV interviewed Chloe at ECVS, I recall her chatting with Nina Hartley about it as we were heading out. Nina had just experienced her first "fisting" and was positively gushing about it. In the course of giving Nina some pointers about technique, Chloe actually pulled me aside and commented that I would make a poor fister because I had bony little hands that would hurt a woman's inner sanctum, whereupon she grabbed our A/V tech Bob and effused about how great his chubby little mits would be because they were "meaty."

Then she went on to tell Nina how she threw her boyfriend out of bed the night before because she wanted to "make baby" and he said he was too tired and asked if she could just grab some lotion and apply the motion to his doodad. "That fucker Tom!" she railed, "I kicked his sorry ass out right then." "Hey, that's my name," I blurted unwittingly. She just scowled at me.

Oh it figgers his name was Tom! My hands, my glands, my fans. I can't win!

Addendum:
I forgot to mention that the fanboy who started this thought-provoking discourse asked for my autograph. "You've got to be kidding," I said, but he was earnest, so I scrawled my signature. And he wanted to shake my hand. Perhaps he felt that by shaking the hand of the man who had shaken the hand of the Tampa Tushy Fest fister (say that three times quickly!), he had almost touched his idol Chloe. I wonder if he'll ever wash it? Full Disclosure: I certainly washed mine!

Addendum Deux:
Chloe has played bass in bands throughout her career and has a single "Harder" that appears on the Porn To Rock CD. But she has no doubts about which of her careers has been sleazier, to wit: "Just when you think you've been fucked in every position, check out the music industry." (And Chloe should know, having probably done every position with members of Poison, Motley Crue, Faster Pussycat, Jetboy, and The Zeroes, as well as with every member of Warrant.) Despite her regrettable taste in music - her first record was Tom Warner lookalike Nick Gilder's "Hot Child In the City" and she has said that the Bee Gees' Beatles movie Sgt. Pepper's Lonelyhearts Club Band changed her life - she is a big fan of Baltimore's hard-rockin' metal meisters Kix, so you have to cut her some slack for that, although it's probably because frontman Steve Whiteman reminded her of Brett Michaels (Kix always thought Michaels stole Whiteman's moves and that Poison aped their stage act). And she has moved behind the camera recently to direct a line of films for VCA. She merges her two great influences - sex and rock - in her film Heart Strings, the saga of a band on the verge of success only to be torn asunder by internal conflicts over sexual infidelity. Sounds a little like a VH1 "Behind the Music" look at Fleetwood Mac. I guess Ian Curtis was right: Love will tear you apart. Especially backdoor love.