Lean Keene

The Real Underground of Tommy Keene Rarities


Q:What's a four-letter word for Keene rarities? A: Cool!

"Keene's inexhaustable supply of engaging melodies and indelible hooks is matched by an ability to string them together in novel ways..."
- Moira McMcormick, Rolling Stone

Kicks keep on getting harder to find as far as scoring Tommy Keene rarities that remain unreleased or undigitized - what with the release of the 41-track double-CD You Hear Me: A Retrospective 1983-2009 (Second Motion Records, 2010) and its 10 digital-only bonus bundle tracks; the 1998 CD reissue of Songs From The Film that included several unreleased T-Bone Burnett-Don Dixon demos recorded at Reflection Studios in Charlotte, NC in 1984; the demos, singles and EPs collection The Real Underground (Alias Records, 1993); and Drowning: A Tommy Keene Miscellany (Not Lame, 2004) - so many thanks to my favorite music blog, the wonderful Wilfully Obscure, for uploading two early demo recordings - seven unreleased tracks from Tommy's 1981 Strange Alliance album sessions and five outtakes from the original 1984 Songs From The Film sessions recorded with T-Bone Burnette and Don Dixon - as well as previously posting all eight tracks from Keene's (still unreleased) debut mini-LP Strange Alliance (1981).

After that, the rarities pickings from his "inexhaustible supply of engaging melodies and indelible hooks" get a tad lean, but if you're both a Tommy Keene fan and a card-carrying completist like me, following is what you'll need to get a Keene Slate as far as collecting all the rarities that have not been officially released or widely available. Where possible, I've included the same download links that Wilfully Obscure provided.

(Now all we need is somebody to upload The Razz's back catalog of singles for closure! Speaking of which, a few folks have uploaded Razz songs to YouTube; see more about this at the end of this post.)

*** STRANGE ALLIANCE ***
(Park Avenue Records, 1981)



1. Landscape
2. All the Way Around
3. Don't Get Me Wrong
4. I Can't See You Anymore
5. It's All Happening Today
6. Strange Alliance
7. Another Night at Home
8. Northern Lights

http://rapidshare.com/files/166772991/tommykeene_strange.rar

Produced by Tommy Keene and Ted Niceley. (Note: Ted Niceley's last name is sometimes spelled "Nicely" in print and online sources; I'm going with "Niceley" because that's what appears on my copies of Songs From the Film, The Real Underground, Connected, and the Razz singles.)

Personnel:

Tommy Keene - Guitar, Keyboards, Vocals; all instros on "Northern Lights"
Ted Niceley: bass
Doug Tull: drums
Michael Colburn: Harmony Vocals on "Don't Get Me Wrong," "I Can't See You Anymore," "Another Night At Home"

From Wilfully Obscure:

The eight-song mini-album Strange Alliance was the world's (or at least the US') introduction to Tommy Keene (formally of the D.C. based Razz) as a singer/songwriter and ultimately, jangle-rock demi-god.

From song one, "Landscape," Keene established a recipe that he would rarely deviate from on future recordings, up to and including his last studio record, Crashing the Ether. Much sought after (going for $100 on Ebay!), Strange Alliance bears an unmistakable prescience, foreshadowing a remarkably consistent career that would follow in the ensuing decades.

From music scribe Rob Caldwell:

Strange Alliance was originally released in 1981, and then re-released the next year with a 7" single containing the song "Back to Zero." This bonus single was a smart move, as "Back to Zero" was a big jump forward in songwriting from most of what was on the album. Strange Alliance wasn't bad by any means, but there were fewer hooks and fewer memorable songs than on future Keene releases. Basically a power pop record with a raw garage -- almost punkish -- feel, it was better than most of what was being released in the same period. Overlooked then and now, the album is by no means a classic, but is definitely worth seeking out by Keene fans and those with an interest in music akin to Jules & the Polar Bears and early Greg Kihn.

I'm so glad this is finally available for digital consumption. I've loved this album ever since Tommy's former College Park roommate Bernie Ozol made me a tape of it back in the '80s - and it took me until this year to finally score it on vinyl (mucho gracias to Jack at El Suprimo Records in Fells Point!). And while I still don't understand (given all the superior unreleased demos from this period) why the dirge-like ambient album-closer "Northern Lights" was included (it's one of maybe a handful of Keene compositions that I don't love), the first five songs - "Landscape" ("Close proximity in your vicinity!") , "All the Way Around," "Don't Get Me Wrong," "I Can't See You Anymore," and "It's All Happening Today" - stand up to the best of any Keene tunes in his long career. I've always thought that "All the Way Around" was Tommy's "Ballad of El Goodo" and I love how Keene's piano bridge in the middle of "Strange Alliance" evokes the "I'd love to turn you on" segment of The Beatles' "A Day in the Life." Backing vocals on several songs were provided by Michael Colburn, erstwhile Razz player and a later member of Nightman.

In case you can't download the above, here's a YouTube video of "Landscape."


*** 1981 "STRANGE ALLIANCE" DEMOS ***
(Track Recorders, Silver Spring, MD, 1981)

In April and May of 1981, Tommy recorded five songs at Track Recorders in Silver Spring, MD with the rhythm section from his former band The Razz: bassist Ted Nicely and drummer Doug Tull. Keene and Ted Niceley produced these sessions. The songs recorded were "Strange Alliance," "End Of The World," "In Our Lives," "Walking On The Street," and "The Heart Is A Lonely Place To Hide."

"Strange Alliance" and "The Heart Is A Lonely Place To Hide" were released on Connected, a vinyl-only Limp Records compilation of Washington, DC-area bands. The same recording of "Strange Alliance" also showed up later - but with a different mix - on Keene's debut LP Strange Alliance.

In November of 1981, five more songs were recorded at Track with Keene and Niceley again producing. The songs recorded this time were "I Can't See You Anymore," "Don't Get Me Wrong,""Another Night At Home" - which were used on Keene's debut LP Strange Alliance (with backing vocals courtesy of Michael Colburn) - and "I'm Your Friend" and "You Break My Mind."

At some time in early 1981, Keene also recorded demos for "Someone To Blame" and "Foolish Mind." The liner that accompanied the download suggest the personnel on these last two songs may just be Tommy Keene and Steve Carr.

So that accounts for the seven tracks that were left on the cutting room floor from these 1981 Strange Alliance sessions. Those tunes were circulated on cassette by Tommy's management; the files here were transferred from a copy of one of those cassettes.

01 End Of The World
02 In Our Lives
03 Walking On The Street
04 I'm Your Friend
05 You Break My Mind
06 Someone To Blame
07 Foolish Mind

http://rapidshare.com/files/227708661/tk1981demos.rar

Produced by Tommy Keene and Ted Niceley.

Personnel:

Tommy Keene: Guitar, Keyboards, Vocals
Ted Niceley: Bass
Doug Tull: Drums

I'm amazed that these songs didn't make the cut because these seven are arguably as strong (especially "End of the World" and "Walking Down the Street") if not stronger than the eight songs Keene ended up selecting for Strange Alliance. "In Our Lives" would inexplicably be shelved for five years, not seeing the light of day until Keene's 1986 Geffin debut Songs From the Film. If Tommy ever decides to officially release these songs, he might call it The Alternate Strange Alliance (a la T. Rex with 1994's Rabbit Fighter: The Alternate Slider) - it even has a plodding equivalent of Strange Alliance's "Northern Lights" in the slo-mo "You Break My Mind." The latter's opening guitar motif would later be utilized both in Keene's "Safe In the Light" from the Back Again (Try...) EP (Dolphin, 1984) and "Down, Down, Down" from the Sleeping On a Rollercoaster EP (Matador, 1992).

*** 1984 "SONGS FROM THE FILM" DEMOS ***
(Reflection Studios, Charlotte, NC, 1984)



01 Call On Me
02 Run Now
03 Fall Down Too
04 The Story Ends
05 Gold Town

http://rapidshare.com/files/227717066/tk1984demos.rar

Produced by T-Bone Burnett and Don Dixon

Personnel:

Tommy Keene: Guitar and Vocals
Billy Connelly: Guitar and Vocals
Ted Niceley: Bass
Doug Tull: Drums

Don Dixon, T-Bone Burnette & Tommy Keene

As most Tommy Keene fans know, the album Songs From The Film - like Dylan's storied tale of two cities (Minneapolis and NYC) Blood on the Tracks - was essentially recorded twice. The first, with T-Bone Burnett and Don Dixon producing, was recorded at Reflection Studios in Charlotte, North Carolina. The second recording - the version that was ultimately released on Geffin Records - featured Geoff Emerick producing. Tommy Keene wanted engineer Bob Clearmountain to produce Songs From the Film, but Geffin insisted on a big-name producer, ending up with Geoff Emerick who had engineered Beatles records, as well as producing Badfinger's No Dice and Elvis Costello's Imperial Bedroom.

"We'd hired Geoff Emerick as the producer because he had worked with the Beatles, but I don't think he had listened to the radio in 20 years," Keene recalled. "In the '80s to get radio airplay you needed a 'big' drum sound and Emerick hated that. The drums on the record sound really tiny."

Some of the Burnett/Dixon recordings were later released on the Run Now vinyl EP. Those tracks, plus a few more outtakes, were then included on the 1998 CD reissue of Songs From The Film. To further complicate matters, a third version of the Burnett/Dixon-produced "Gold Town" was included on 2010's You Hear Me: A Retrospective 1983-2009 release (it's an alternate mix with a slightly different ending to the demo included here).

These five tunes are recordings from the original sessions that remain unreleased. Four of them were re-recorded for the second version of the album, but none of these particular recordings appear on any officially released version of Songs From The Film. These are probably unfinished mixes.

"Fall Down Too" later resurfaced as one of the 10 digital-only bonus tracks available with the You Hear Me CD release.

You can listen to Tommy talk to Tony Peters of iconfetch.com (at about the 10-minute mark of a 15 minute interview) about the Songs From the Film backstory and how he rues not standing up to Geffen and releasing the Burnette-Dixon album.

***

COMPLETISTS' CORNER: The Best of the Rest of Tommy Keene Rarities

"Kill Your Sons (Live)" (Lou Reed)


B-side: "Kill Your Sons (Live)" (Lou Reed)


"Kill Your Sons (Live)" is also on the "Run Now" EP

Personnel:

Tommy Keene: Guitar and Vocals
Billy Connelly: Guitar
Ted Niceley: Bass
Doug Tull: Drums

The live version of Lou Reed's "Kill Your Sons" (a studio version is included on Songs From the Film) was recorded in 1986 at NYC's The World and is still only available on the vinyl & cassette versions of the Run Now EP and on the B-side of the "Listen To Me" 12" single. Tommy introduces the song with the words "This is a song by one of America's great heroes, Lou Reed" and then lets rip for 5 1/2 minutes.

Here's a rare video of that performance from The World, posted on YouTube by "peyoteshaman":

"Kill Your Sons (Live) @ The World, NYC, 1986

Keene explained why the song was so important to him in a 2006 interview with Bill Kopp's musicoscribe.com:

I got Live In Italy around '85 where he's playing with the band with Fernando Saunders and...I forget his name...the producer guy [drummer Fred Maher -- ed.], and Bob Quine...Robert Quine. That was a great band. Then I saw this videotape [Coney Island Baby -- Live in New Jersey]. And I never really gave that song that much thought. But when I saw it in that context, I was thinking "ah, this is a great song!" At a rehearsal I just said "let's learn this song and do it tomorrow night" and we did it that night somewhere. So we did it and we enjoyed playing it. And then we did it again at a show where the A&R guy from Geffen came and he said "Oh! That's awesome. You've gotta record that and put that song on the record." And we were thinking "really?" And he just kept pushing and pushing, so when we made Songs From the Film we had a night where we threw a party and we just played a bunch of covers in the studio live, and that one came out well. And we went to try to remix the record (when we went to New York, as I said earlier) that tape was all live. I re-did the vocals and added a rhythm guitar but the rest was basically a "live in the studio" thing. And they liked it so much that they said "we've gotta put it on the record." So we put it on the record and when they put out the EP Run Now they took a version of it from this show we did in New York. And having done it on those two records it became an audience favorite. And so that's why it continues to be in the set. I thought "we're never gonna cover a Lou Reed song" for a major label ...next to "Sweet Jane" I think it may be one of his best songs. It's a classic.

***

"Faith In Love" (Acoustic)


B-side: "Faith In Love" acoustic version

The flip side of an alternate "Listen To Me" 7" single has an acoustic version of this outtake from the 1984 T-Bone Burnette and Don Dixon-produced Songs From the Film sessions recorded in Charlotte, NC. The full band (Billy Connelly, Ted Niceley, Doug Tull) version was included as a bonus track on the 1998 CD reissue of Songs From the Film.

***

"The Heart Is a Lonely Place To Hide"


"Connected" LP (Limp, 1981)

Personnel:

Tommy Keene - guitar, keyboards, vocals
Ted Niceley - bass
Doug Tull - drums

In April and May of 1981, Keene recorded "Strange Alliance" and "The Heart Is A Lonely Place To Hide" (also known simply as "The Heart") at Track Recorders in Silver Spring, MD. "Strange Alliance" and "The Heart Is A Lonely Place To Hide" were released on Connected, a vinyl-only Limp Records compilation of Washington, DC-area bands. The same recording of "Strange Alliance" also showed up later - but with a different mix - on Keene's debut LP Strange Alliance. This is a pretty good record in its own right, and includes tunes by Tommy's rhythm section of Ted Niceley and Doug Tull in their band Nightman (a group that also included two more ex-Razz players in guitarists Mike Colburn and Bill Craig), as well as The Slickee Boys, Howard Wuelfing's The Nurses, Don Fleming's Velvet Monkees, The Dark, and Black Market Baby. Despite being a relatively obscure song, "The Heart" was later covered on a 1987 single by Million Miles, a powerpop-loving German group who dedicated their record to Chris Bell [Big Star] and Chris Stamey [The DBs].


Million Miles: "The Heart" b/w "Fooled" 7" (Exile, 1987)

***

"Run To Midnight"



Tommy recorded this while still on the Not Lame Records label. As far as I know, it was only available on the CD that came with John M. Borack's powerpop guidebook Shake Some Action (also published by Not Lame Recording Company). Alas, Not Lame went lame a few years ago, so Keene completists would be well advised to look for used copies of this book.

***

"All I Want Is You" (Live) (Bryan Ferry) &
"When the Whip Comes Down" (Live) (M. Jagger-K. Richard)


"Back Again (Try...)" EP (Dolphin, 1984)

From the Back Again (Try...) EP. The B-side of this 4-song vinyl-only 12" single contains live covers of Roxy Music's "All I Want Is You" and The Rolling Stones' "When the Whip Comes Down" recorded in 1984 at Boston's Rat. Besides the title track, the other studio recording is "Safe In the Light" (both are available on The Real Underground CD).

In an interview with musicoscribe, Keene characterized the Stones cover as a one-off concert throwaway: "We['d] only played that once or twice...that was definitely the first time we've ever played it. You can tell because we don't really know the chords. I think we didn't get that middle part right. We rehearsed it once or twice and then went on."

Interestingly, the Unknown80s blog (unknown80s.blogspot.com) chose this EP to highlight Tommy Keene as an unheralded '80s songwriter and you can watch/listen to "Back Again (Try...)" and "Safe in the Light" below:



*** You Hear Me: Bonus Digital-Bundle Tracks ***


You shoula bought the 10 bonus tracks! You Hear Me?

This 10-track digital-only bonus album was available to pre-ordering customers when You Hear Me came out in 2010. I could kick myself for quibbling over cost when it was available for $20 vs. the $15 for the regular 2-disc edition. What fools these mortals be (or, to be it in Keene terms, me and my "Foolish Mind"). The bonus album includes the following tracks, which I suppose I will have to get someday...just to be a completist!

01 Places That Are Gone (alt mix by Bill Wittman from Songs From The Film)
02 Nothing Is Grey (demo 1982)
03 Stuck On A Ship (Demo 1983 from Dolphin Places That Are Gone EP)
04 Fall Down Too (Unreleased track from T-Bone/Don Dixon album recorded July 1984)
05 All Your Love Will Stay (Home Demo 1999)
06 Eyes of Youth (Home Demo 1999)
07 Never Really Been Gone (Live in Chicago 1998)
08 Call On Me (Live at Campbell University NC - 1996)
09 Compromise (Live at Campbell University NC - 1996)
10 Love Is A Dangerous Thing / Brad's Boogie (Live at Campbell University NC - 1996)

*** "LOVE OR ELSE" W/NILS LOFGREN ***

Watch "Love or Else".


This Nils Lofgren song, originally recorded on Grin's 1973 LP All Out, was reprised live in Rockville on August 25, 2004 with Tommy Keene on guitar for the A Tribute To Nils Lofgren DVD.

According to his iTunes bio, the teenage Keene played drums in the rock trio Blue Steel, whose original guitar player was Nils's younger brother, Mike Lofgren. Keene's first notable gig, in fact, was when Mike's Blue Steel opened for Nils's Grin. Here's a pic of Tommy playing drums with Blue Steel:


Blue Steel, 1972

And here's a (post-Mike Lofgren?) Blue Steel rendition of "Roll Over Beethoven", recorded at Silver Spring's DB Studios and showcasing Tommy's percussion skills, that I found on YouTube:


In a 2006 interview with Magnet magazine, Keene commented "Nils was really a huge influence on my guitar style and my songwriting. When people ask my influences, I always say the Beatles, Who and Stones, but I think the people that influenced me the most were the people I came into contact with when I was learning how to play. Nils’ brother Mike basically showed me how to play guitar."

(Those Lofgren boys sure knew how to play, as Nils and Mike were just two of the four Lofgren brothers who played guitar; the others were Mark and, of course, former Grin rhythm guitarist Tom Lofgren. You can see them all strumming away on the Nils Lofgren and Friends: Live Acoustic DVD.)

*** "Lost a Number" (Nils Lofgren) ***

Another Nils Lofgren song, originally recorded on Grin's 1972 LP 1+1 (their masterpiece), that Tommy played live - this time without Nils - for the August 25, 2004 recording of the A Tribute To Nils Lofgren DVD.

Watch "Lost a Number."


*** THE RAZZ ***


Razzmania: The Razz ruled DC's rock roost back in the day

I loved The Razz, who provided my introduction to Tommy Keene. I recall liking a DC girl who loved Tommy Keene and I would try and see them whenever I'd hit DC with my pal (and erstwhile Thee Katatonix bass player) Tom Lehr. They had a pretty big following, too, and opened for a number of national acts. I recall seeing them open for Devo at Georgetown's Gaston Hall and I saw their last-ever Baltimore gig when they opened for The Ramones at Martin's West.



Tommy Keene joined The Razz after guitarist Abaad Behram left the band; he played on the post-Behram Razz 7" records, which were released on the O'Rourke/Limp label and have never been digitized, to the best of my knowledge. Before joining Razz, Keene was in The Rage with Richard X. Heyman and future Sorrows bassist Ricky "Street" Leigh (unfortunately the only Rage recording was a live radio broadcast that remains unreleased).


The Razz live (Tommy Keene far right)

"You Can Run" b/w ""Who's Mr. Comedy?" (Reidy-Keene)


Razz - "You Can Run" b/w "Who's Mr. Comedy?" (O'Rourke/Limp, 1979)

This 1978 single features two songs credited to Reidy-Keene. Singer Michael Reidy always thought Keene's words were lame, while Tommy thought Reidy's words debased his beautiful melodies. Theirs was truly a strange alliance. As he later explained to Blurt-Online, "When I was in Razz, I was the guitar player who wrote songs and sang backup, and I was perfectly comfortable in that role. The reason why I 'went solo' in the first place was because I couldn't find anyone in the D.C. area to form a band with. I couldn't find a lead singer to make it work."

Still, Reidy was a charismatic frontman and Keene an ace guitarist-tunesmith; they were a dynamic duo while it lasted. The other Razz guitarist, Bill Craig, was no slouch either - as his work here and later with Jr. Cline & The Recliners attests. And the Razz rhythm section of Ted Niceley and Doug Tull would go on to back Tommy Keene on every record up through 1986's Run Now EP.

"Air Time" 4-song EP


Razz - "Air Time" EP (O'Rourke/Limp, 1979)

01 Marianne (Reidy-Keene)
02 Cherry Vanilla (Reidy-Behram)
03 Love Is Love (Reidy-Keene)
04 Hippy Hippy Shake (C. Romero)

Personnel:

Michael Reidy - Vocals
Ted Niceley - Bass
Bill Craig - Guitar
Tommy Keene - Guitar/Vocals
Doug Tull - Drums

Four live tunes from a 1978 University of Maryland College Park show recorded for a WWDC-DC101 radio broadcast. The other songs recorded during this 47-minute set included: "Move It," "Tired Of Trying," "Take It Back," "It Happened One Night," "I See," and"C Redux." (The show used to be available for download at megalupload.com, but the post-Napster authorities shut 'er down!) Thanks to Lightning Jukebox, you can listen to "Love Is Love" online.

Skip Gross (founder of Limp Records and owner of Yesterday and Today Records), who edited the EP, commented:

I think Airtime was one of the greatest records ever to come out of DC. I edited it. That was my entire involvement in it, aside from putting it out.

They had done a concert for DC101 live from a local venue, and I'm sure there's more songs than those four, but I have not been able to find where they might be. In any case, at some point I had access to the whole tape and took it over to Zientara's and chose those cuts and put them in--they weren't together in the concert the way they were on the record, they didn't necessarily fall together.

I thought it was a really, really strong EP, and it showed their dynamics and versatility on stage, the ability of Michael Reidy to go from a ballad to a harmony type thing to a hard rocking type thing. It also showcased Tommy Keene's "Love is Love," which at that point in time was developing into the Razz's real tour de force. It became the ending piece later on, and they would do that at the very end of a set and expand on it.

"Doo Wha Diddy"


"Best of Limp (...Rest of Limp)" (Limp Records, 1980)

The Razz recorded a test pressing of this song that was never released until it resurfaced on the 1980 Best of Limp (...Rest of Limp) compilation album (alongside tracks by Nightman, The Slickee Boys, The D. Ceats, The Nurses, Bad Brains, and Tex Rubinowitz). I'm not sure whether this is Tommy or Abaad playing guitar.

Though Razz records may be hard to find, several songs from the Air Time EP have also been uploaded to YouTube:

Razz - "You Can Run (But You Can't Hide)" from the indie rock compilation record Declaration of Independents:

Razz - "You Can Run (But You Can't Hide on YouTube)"

Razz - "Cherry Vanilla"


Razz - "Hippy Hippy Shake"


According to the the blog Camarillo Brillo ("Cool and Hard To Find Tunage"), the Razz also recorded unreleased studio demos of "Bad Intentions," "It's Like Fire," and "Say Way."

*** SUZANNE FELLINI - "Love On the Phone" ***


Suzanne Fellini (Casablanca, 1980)

After the Razz, Keene embarked on a European tour as a sideman for New Wave singer Suzanne Fellini - a one-hit wonder most infamous for her 1980 single about phone sex, "Love On the Phone" (which featured lyrics like "Its so hard when Im feeling on fire/And all I can hold is the telephone wire ...You know I want you cause you're the best/Hang on a minute I'll get undressed/Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes No!") - before co-founding a band called Pieces in New York.

Fellini had one album out on Casablanca Records, 1980's self-titled Suzanne Fellini. The clip below shows a very New Wavy-looking Tommy playing guitar with Suzanne on some television show.

Watch Tommy play guitar on "Love on the Telephone."


*** PIECES ***

After touring with Suzanne Fellini in 1980, Tommy's NYC band Pieces recorded a four-song demo tape, which used to be available for download before the btjunkie site went down. The group split up when they failed to land an acceptable record deal. (I wonder if anyone still has this demo tape? Tommy?)

Pieces was the band Keene formed with Staten Island-native drummer Frankie LaRocka (Cherry Vanilla, David Johansen, Scandal, John Waite, Bryan Adams, Bon Jovi), Brooklyn-born bassist Kenny Aaronson (Rolling Stone's 1988 Bassist of the Year, who played with Stories, Dust, Rick Derringer, and with Sammy Hagar and Neal Schon in Hagar Schon Aaronson Shrieve), and Staten Island singer Matt Lamberti.


Frank LaRocka, 1954-2005 (photo by Ivan Kral)

In an interview with Scene Point Blank magazine, he recalled "I was playing with a girl in New York at the time [Suzanne Fellini] with a bass player named Kenny Aaronson, he knew Frank, who knew a singer named Matt [Lamberti]. We did about eight shows and were offered one record deal that was deemed too cheap. Frank was a fun guy, I was very sorry to hear that he had passed some years ago. I remember sleeping on his couch in his Staten Island apartment for many months."

According to a New Yorker Rocker obit for LaRocka, who died of the debilitating heart condition known as cardiomyopathy in May 2005, Piece's demo was featured on WNEW’s "Prisoners Of R&R" show back in the day.

*** BRUCE SPRINGSTONE ***

"Bedrock Rap/Meet the Flintstones" b/w "Take Me Out To the Ballgame"


Bruce Springstone - "Live at Bedrock" single (Clean Cuts, 1982)

In 1982 Craig Hankin and Tom Chalkley of The Reason came up with the idea of a Bruce Springsteen parody in which Chalkley-as-"The Boss" sang "Bedrock Rap/Meet the Flintstones" and "Take Me Out To the Ballgame." They recruited Tommy Keene - a huge Springsteen fan - and veteran jazz saxophonist Ron Holloway to record with them at Hit and Run studios in Rockville, and released this single (available in 7" and 12" versions on Clean Cuts Records). Bruce Springstone's parody single sold 100,000 copies, became a Dr. Demento fave (it's included on the Dr. Demento Presents The Greatest Novelty Records Of All Time LP), and led to the musicians making a video intended for MTV - before Hanna Barbara threatened to sue if MTV played it. Even The Boss himself liked it, writing Hankin a postcard that said "The record is great! I love it! Keep on rockin! Bruce Springsteen." Today Hankin and Chalkley are working on a graphic novel called If I'd Known Back Then - "a 200-page comic book about the bonds of friendship, creativity, youthful ambition and the staying power of a well-crafted novelty hit" - recounting their Springstone saga (to help their Kickstarter campaign to raise funds for this project, see If I'd Known Back Then: A Graphic Memoir).

Listen to "Bedrock Rap/Met the Flintstones."


*** THE KEENE BROTHERS ***


The Keene Brothers: "Blues and Boogie Shoes"

Alas, I don't have any of Tommy's collaborations with Guided By Voices leader Robert Pollard in which Pollard croons his words over Keene's tunes. I guess a completist should pick up Blues and Boogie Shoes (Recordhead Records, 2006) huh?

According to an interview with Blurt magazine, "The Right Time to Fly" from Tommy's In the Late Bright (Second Motion, 2009) was a Keene Brothers instrumental track that wasn't used on the album.

In 2006, Tommy toured with Robert Pollard & The Ascended Masters and there are numerous concert clips available on YouTube. The one below for "Little Lines" features some good footage of Keene playing guitar.


Related Links:
Tommy Keene official site
Tommy Keene - You Hear Me (Accelerated Decrepitude)
Razz Fanatics (Facebook group)

Markman & McGann: Separated at Birth?

Paul McGann


Howard Markman

One's an excellent British thespian, fondly remembered as an ertswhile Doctor Who, Idris Elba's wife's overly sensitive lover "Mark North" on Luther, and the "I" (aka "Marwood") in the cult movie Withnail and I.

The other is a veteran Baltimore guitarist-songwriter who's been making soulful music since the '70s in styles ranging from Deadhead-jamming Milton Freewater and disappear fear (featuring SONiA Rutstein) to the free-range stylistic stew of Palookaville and solo outings like Welcome To Smalltimore.

What they have in common is the ability to rock the furrowed-brow look of artistic suffering and world-weary wisdom. Oh, and the fuzzy chin thing. (Am I the only one to notice this? Am I the only one to care?)

Related Links:
Howard Markman official site
SONiA & disaapear fear official site

His Name Is Not Legend: It's tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE

The Greatest Hits & Assorted Bits of Michael Tolson


"Let's face it! I'm from Baltimore. That translates into WORKING CLASS SUBHUMAN MORLOCK." - tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE

It seems everyone in Baltimore who is even remotely associated with the arts or its cultural underground has a story about Michael Tolson, the man with a brain tattooed on the back of his scalp (in offset green and red for the benefit of those wearing 3-D glasses - see it starring in his "Brain Waves Goodbye" YouTube video) who is better known as "tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE" (a name he chose to answer the question "What's your name?"), "Tim Ore" (as in the imperative statement/proper noun "BalTimOre"), and/or "Monty Cantsin" (as in some convoluted "neoism" reference too taxing for my little squirrel brain to comprehend - one reviewer likened defining neoism as akin to a dog chasing its tail). Or, for convenience's sake, simply "tENT" for short.


tENT: a brain in vein

"Irreverent and even obnoxious, habitually wearing a jump suit made out of zippers, tENTATIVELY a cONVENIENCE, (the man with a brain tattooed on his scalp,) has been one of Baltimore's premier outsiders for over a decade," Dan Schiavone observed in 1992, noting that he was best known "for his confrontational and often belligerent performances, films, and videos..." That sounds about right. Though his name may not be legend to the mainstream, his deeds and his work certainly are legendary to those in the know - the tENT cognoscienti.


GROWING PAINS: a pre-"tENT"ious Michael Tolson in costume of his design, School 33 studio. Baltimore, MD. Circa 1979. Backdrop and photo by Paula Gillen.

Although he's written at least 10 books, directed 50+ films, published a shitload of articles and reviews both on paper and online, and given roughly 400 film-music-spoken word performances over the course of his career, tENT considers himself a mere footnote in the greater scheme of things (much to his discontENT). In fact, footnotes is the name of his 500-page (unnumbered) book that archives his life's work and whose stated purpose is "to bring the picture together somewhat." Or, as the book jacket proclaims, "footnotes collects 32 years worth of material by the jack-off-of-all-trades known (sometimes) as tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE. It rewrites, comments on, & excerpts from his 1st 9 books - covering everything from concrete essays to mad scientism to practicing promotextuality to scripts to rebuttals of critics to lists to autobiography, etc.. using texts, drawings, photographs, etc.. A MASSIVE compilation relevant to film & video making, performance, experimental language use, neoism, & much, MUCH more.." Besides being a valuable archival guide to tENT's massive body of work, it's also a sometimes bitter-toned argument about why he matters - tENT definitely has a major chip on his shoulder about his lack of recognition by his artistic peers and this may be one of the reasons he left Baltimore (where he felt artists were treated as "working class subhuman" morlocks) for Pittsburgh - which despite being another working class city has an arguably much higher profile arts scene (e.g., the Warhol Museum, the Carnegie Museums, etc.)

The Gruesome Twosome
Footnotes is a fascinating tome and definitely "brings the picture together" about many of tENT's prolific projects, exploits, and adventures. Interestingly enough, two of his most notorious projects involved Ivan Stang's Church of the SubGenius (the "parody religion" organization that satirizes religion, conspiracy theories, UFOs, and pop culture), reflecting just how influential this pop cultural phenomenon was in the 1980s. The Church's iconic figurehead was J. R. "Bob" Dobbs - a Mitt Romney-looking cartoon of a smiling man with a pipe in his mouth that was based on some 1950s clip art - and members sought not Nirvana but the attainment of "slack," typified by the avoidance of work and anti-materialism. (Hmmm...I wonder if The Cars' song "Gimme Some Slack" was a SubGenius reference?).


Gimme Some Slack!: SubGenius Icon Bob Dobbs

Of course, tENT's biggest media splash was the national news story that followed his antics during the 3rd annual World SubGenius Congress in Baltimore on the weekend of September 16-18, 1983.



tENT, then 30-years-old, not only attained Sainthood in The Church of the SubGenius for his performance, a mention in the RE/Search Pranks! book, and international infamy (with news stories appearing as far away as Peru) - but a year's probation, $20 in court costs, and a warning to steer clear of railroad property, as well! tENT calls the incident "The Poop & Pee Dog Copyright Violation Ceremony" and goes into exhaustive detail about the concept behind this historic (or is it hysteric?) moment, to set the record straight.

The other SubGenius-related project involved inserting subliminal images of Bob Dobbs (among others) into porn film loops at the peepshow parlor where tENT (as Tim Ore) and his cohort "Dick Hertz" (aka Richard Hansen) worked in the '80s, which resulted in a "hoax peepshow movie" he called Balling Tim Ore Is Best.

An account of the gruesome twosome events - #1 and #2 with a bullet on my tENT Greatest Hits Playlist - follows...

*** #1: The Poop & Pee Dog Copyright Violation Ceremony ***


World SubGenius Congress
September 18, 1983
Chessie System Railroad Tunnel
1000 South Howard Street
Baltimore, MD

Just before 4 a.m. on Sunday morning, September 18, 1983, police were called to the Chessie System railroad tunnel in the 1000 block of South Howard Street (near the 400 block of West Camden St.) to investigate what appeared to be "a pagan ritual."


[I couldn't find any good quality photos of this incident, so I've inserted the above photo of my colon (taken during a recent colonoscopy) to represent what the underground train tunnel probably looked (and smelled) like on the night in question. - Tom Warner]

The Baltimore Sun's Ann Lolordo reported, "As they entered the tunnel which leads into Camden Station, police heard a loud banging sound, like cymbals crashing. Then, police said, they saw a dead animal hanging from the ceiling and a man standing in the dark tunnel, his naked body covered with 'a glowing paint.'"


tENT aglow during SubGenius ceremony (photo from "footnotes")

That was tENT, of course - or "Michael F. Tolson of the 1000 block South Charles Street," as a police report would later refer to him.

"I've never seen anything like it in my life," said one police sergeant, a 26-year veteran of the force. "I'd rather run up against a man with a gun than that situation."


(Ann Lolordo, The Sun, Sept. 19, 1983)

Thirty-five other people (or "SubGenii") were also in the tunnel, which stretches underground for roughly three miles between the Mount Royal and Camden railroad stations, dancing to the rhythmic pulse of a thunder sheet as tENT swung a dead dog around his head. Musician (and SubGenius Reverend) Mark Harp (a tENT-collaborator who made a limited edition recording with him of the night's event called "t he Inner Scoop of t he Poop & Pee Dog Copyright Violation Ceremony") and City Paper writer Pamela Purdy were among those in attendance. According to tENT, High Performance magazine editor Linda Burnham was also there, but "the reporters who were there weren't allowed by their papers to publicly proclaim their presence - it was too embarrassing!"

"We put the handcuffs on him and of course we put a pair of trousers on him," Lolordo quoted the police as saying. They then cleared out the other revelers, who were invited to the event by Tolson, and arrested him for trepassing.



Lolordo's account continues:

Mr. Tolson, who has produced other performance pieces on some unlikely stages in Baltimore, said that the show was part of a convention of "The Church of the Subgenius" - which is not, he stressed, a religious cult of any type.

"First, we were not praying to the dead dogs. Secondly, I'm not the leader of a cult group. I may have an audience who's interested in what I'm doing. But I'm not their leader."

Yes, two dead dog carcasses were used in the show, Mr. Tolson said, but he added that he found them in the tunnel.

tENT was certainly no stranger to the tunnel, having held previous events there - one as recently as New Year's Eve 1982. In fact, a picture of tENT - flanked by his friends Dave Bakker and Randy Hoffman - emerging from its manhole entrance appeared on the front page of the January 1, 1983 edition of the Baltimore Sun, accompanied by an article "Artists 'borrow' downtown tunnel as site for party."


Baltimore Sun front page (January 1, 1983)

Other attendees at that New Year's Eve soiree included Laure Drogoul (whose tiger stencil print adorned a room off the tunnel)...


Laure Drogoul digs the underground scene (photo from "footnotes")

...and MICA performance artist Sin-Dee Heidel, shown below wearing her Condom Wrap:


Sin-Dee Heidel (photo by Paula Gillen)

In footnotes, tENT recalls, "On New Year's Eve, Randy, Dave, & I (as Tim Ore) placed highway cones around the manhole & used a meathook (which bent) to lift the heavy, concrete coated, manhole cover. Dave & Randy were dressed as construction workers with hard-hats & shirts that had ID tags on them that read "Balto Co." Friends were invited down into the hole & down into the club & beer was provided. 2 truck drivers who stopped to ask for directions were invited down the manhole. They were dubious at 1st until they saw the spandex wrapped Sin-Dee Heidel emerge at which point they decided to descend." (Going by the pic of Heidel above, can you blame them?)

But I digress...



Over at the News American, Joe Nawrozki's article "Police bewildered by bizarre tunnel ritual" (September 19, 1983) picks up our story:

Baltimore police today are still attempting to unscramble an incident Sunday that put them somewhere between "The Twilight Zone" and "The Naked and the Dead."

Michael F. Tolson, 30, of the 1000 block of S. Charles St., was arrested for trepassing early Sunday morning inside a Chessie System railroad tunnel near the 400 block of W. Camden St.

But like one officer in the Southern District said today "That one is still the talk of the station house."

Police were called to the tunnel about 3:40 a.m. Sunday about trespassers. On their way inside, they were met by a woman who seemed rather unsettled. "I just saw something horrible and immoral."

Apparently, the first police to arrive on the scene were either frightened or bewildered by what they saw and left to get help, returning with about 20 officers. One Southern District policeman characterized the incident as part of a "Devil Cult" ritual. In the News American article, tENT countered that the ceremony was merely a SubGenius ceremony and explained that the Church of the SubGenius was "the ultimate cult group with a sense of humor...It takes elements from every cult group - the UFO cults, the greendemons of the Hollow Earth - to make a safer place for weirdos to live in. It's a joke, but it's a serious joke."

tENT went on to say that the church pokes fun at capitalism, the corporate dehumanization of people, the mental and physical uniforms that people wear, and "other things that are too depressing to think about...It's also a good excuse for a party. Sometimes life is so miserable that it gives you hope to think that UFOs will come and save you. It's an extreme hope, like any religion."


tENT: "Shock is an important thing." (News American, Sept. 19, 1983)

tENT added "It was a joke for certain people, and it also maximized the creepy effects of the space. Shock is an important thing in it. But most people see things with stereotyped vision. The police had never seen anything like it, so they stereotyped it into a devil cult."...

To which police spokesman Sgt. Mike Bass is quoted as saying (with colossal understatement) "We're not sure what we have here." (Joe Nawrozki, The News American, Sept. 19, 1983)


(David McQuay, News American, Sept. 20, 1983)

In the followup story "Cult performer arrested in rail tunnel" (News American, Sept. 20, 1983), the News American's David McQuay reported "The ceremony consisted of Tolson hanging up a pair of dead dogs, which had been run over by trains several months ago, and screaming things at them while he was stark naked and covered with white greasepaint. He pummeled the corpses with a stick and jumped around while strobe lights flashed, a smoke bomb smoked, and a tape loop played the sounds of his pummeling the dogs."

Still, McQuay wrote, "Let it be known that Michael Tolson has nothing against dogs. 'Actually, I'm a dog lover,' he said. 'When I was a kid, some of my best friends were dogs.'"

tENT later recalled hearing of people "threatening to kill me b/c they think I've killed the dogs. I didn't kill the dogs, trains apparently had. Why didn't these same people threaten to blow up trains? This, in a neighborhood where people blinded street people w/ bleach for fun."

With apologies to Rashomon purists, following is tENT's version of that night's events, taken available from footnotes as well as item #60 in his online archive "A Mere Outline...":

A wire was stretched across the train tunnel thru an eye hook & 2 partially truncated & mummified dog corpses that I'd found there that had apparently been run over by trains were hung from the wire on either side of the tracks. A metal sheet with instructions for using Black & Decker power tools with a No Copyright symbol spray-painted on it was suspended between the dogs. The dogs were painted white with the words "Poop" painted on 1 of them & "Pee" painted on the other & glowing cyalume light sticks were placed between their rear legs. The walls of the tunnel were spray-painted with non-intersecting (except for, perhaps, the occasional accident) squiggly lines which I associated somehow with native Australian dreamtime culture. A strobe light flashed, someone made the dogs dance by tugging on the wire, & Ron Cummings manipulated & played tapes that he'd made of him beating on the dead dogs. I was naked except for my shoes & socks & I had white squiggly lines painted on me. I danced & gyrated wildly & beat the dogs & the thunder sheet with a club. The dogs were on fire & exuded what one might call a "foul" smell. I had been entrusted with the sacred head of Arnold Palmer by a representative of the Bloody Head Launcher's Society which I had set on fire & which I was also beating about the tunnel.


Source of inspiration: "Pee-Dog" underground comic

The title of this ceremony was a reference to "Pee-Dog" comix by Jay Condum & Gary Panter & "Poop-Dog" comix (which was a friendly rip-off of "Pee-Dog") by the Reverends Ivan Stang & Sterno Keckhaver. Eventually a large quantity of police came (from the railroad cops, the city police, & the nearby federal reserve bank guards) because 1 of the attendees reported having witnessed something "horrible & immoral" & I was arrested. When the "news" found out about this (it was done partially as a publicity stunt anyway) they "reported" that I was a "Cult Leader" who was "praying to the dogs" etc. Very little attempt was made to actually find out who I really was or what I actually was doing & when I was interviewed what I actually had to say was considered too weird to quote. I was quoted both in the newspapers & on tv as saying things that I hadn't said by people who hadn't even been present at the time when I'd supposedly said them. The cop who'd arrested me bought a photo of this ceremony from me. Another cop who'd allegedly been on the "force" for 26 years was quoted as saying in the newspapers "I'd rather run up against a man with a gun than a situation like that!" The beat goes on..

The media circus continued through tENT's court appearance and subsequent sentencing exactly one month later (October 19, 1983), which resulted in one year's supervised probation, $20 in court costs, and a warning to stay away from railroad property ("I was told not to go to the tunnel again" he told News American reporters).


(AP story, The Sun, October 21, 1983)


(Washington Post, October 20, 1983)


(Evening Sun, Oct. 23, 1983)

But my favorite clipping, reproduced in footnotes, is this Associated Press story "Bizarre: Odd Dance Brings Probation," which appeared in the Annapolis Evening Capital.


(Annapolis Evening Capital)

I love the quote that reads:

The police report described Tolson as "extremely wild," but the young man was polite and soft-spoken when he appeared in court.

"Do you have any problems or anything?" asked the judge.

"No," said the defendent [sic].

"Have you ever been to Spring Grove (a state mental hospital)?" asked the judge.

"No," said Tolson, who was represented by a public defender.

The same article describes tENT showing a photograph of the ritual to railroad police and others who gathered outside the courtroom after the hearing in Southern Ditrict Court.

"All the cops and railroad officials were really quite amused about it," he was quoted as saying.

Other media coverage of the ceremony

As I said, this incident crossed the Mason-Dixon line to spread (inter)nationally. Following are some additional media citations.

***

From Rev. Ivan Stang's "THE CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS(TM) - The Greatest Joke (?) Ever Told" (http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/classic/classics/Churchpranks.html):

The press and TV media usually bend over backwards in NOT collaborating with us. They don't recognize the value of a straight face. In stories about the Church they always describe it as a 'joke' -- with one most notable exception, the infamous Dog Corpse Art Escapade of Saint tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE (aka Tim Ore, Monte Cantsin and Michael Tolson) of Baltimore. During the 1983 World SubGenius Convention, he invited 40 Subs to a no-tresspassing underground tunnel connected to the city train system, where they witnessed perhaps the worst smelling performance art piece in history: clothed ONLY in white greasepaint, tENTATIVELY performed a ritual using two decapitated, rotting dog corpses as props.


The worst smelling performance art piece in history?

This was an homage to the Church-approved characters of Poop Dog and Pee Dog of underground comix fame... but the cops who arrived in 6 squad cars and dragged tENT off to jail didn't see it that way. Neither did the wire services. The story went far and wide -- we have clippings from Peru -- and describes tENT as the 'leader' of a perverted sex cult. The sensational aspect of the story was amplified because the papers implied that tENT had killed the two dogs for his art piece, whereas he had actually found them in the tunnel already decapitated by the train. He merely immortalized them. This was the first time most people ever heard of the Church of the SubGenius.

***

From Paul Mavrides' "PRANKS interview" (http://www.subgenius.com/bigfist/answers/articles/X0037_Mavrides_Pranks_Inte.html):

The other time a SubGenius group got on the wire services
involved a performance artist in Baltimore named Tentatively-a-Convienience, who had discovered a railroad tunnel containing a number of dog corpses that had been hit by trains. So he staged a SubGenius ritual performance which consisted of him naked, painted with white designs, beating these dead dogs that were hanging by their legs. He got arrested, the wire services picked up the story, and about two dozen papers reported that the Church of the SubGenius prances around naked beating dead dogs with sticks as part of their cult ritual

***

From SubGenius member J. Hoffman (dr foo)'s "tRAUMATICALLY A cONVEYANCE" http://www.subgenius.com/subg-digest/ancient/0479.html):

I've heard this story a few times. It even made the wire services, and was discussed in the admirable ReSearch issue dedicated to Pranks and Pranksters (probably one of the funniest publications ever printed.)

Apparently, in Baltimore, many cats and dogs die in the depths of the subway system. tENT was in a subway station/tunnel, was/wasn't naked, was/wasn't painted all over with day-glo colors, had/hadn't tied a freshly-killed/already-dead dog to the end of a rope/leash, and was/wasn't swinging the dog around over hIS head while hE did/didn't dance, wildly.

There, that should cover all the possibilities, and account for what the folk-process may have added to an already spectacular event.

The cops did arrest hIM. The wire services did pick it up, and I first read about it in The Globe. The story was a small filler (one or three grafs), but it did find room to mention that (approximately) "The Church of the SubGenius is a religion that encourages its members to obtain `Slack.'"

AP was an unwitting carrier of a small beacon of hope and encouragement on an otherwise dark day. SubGs all over the country saw it over their Sugar Dipt Coco Weasels and grinned, "There's more weirdness out there!" Many thoughtful Pinks said, "A painted guy is dancing in the nude, in a subway tunnel, swinging a dead dog over his head. So why am I worried about the Discover Card bill in so strange a world as this? Why don't *I* slack off today, tell the boss my monkey died, and just go bowling?"

***

tENT's tunnel escapade was later cited by Van Smith as one of his most notorious pranks in the Baltimore City Paper's 1998 April Fool's Day feature "These Foolish Things" (April 1, 1998):


(City Paper, April 1, 1998)


*** #2: Balling Tim Ore Is Best***


"Balling Tim Ore is Best"
by Dick Hertz & Tim Ore (i.e., tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE)
(August 1985, 16 minutes, super 8 -> 1/2" VHS cassette)

In 1985, tENT and Dick Hertz were employed as "Peep Mechanics," responsible for assembling the 8mm and Super-8 films projected in peepshow booths on Baltimore's "Block." Under the name Tim Ore, tENT and Dick Hertz created this a hoax peepshow movie that featured such things as a thru-the-keyhole view of animation of vegetables having sex, as well as images of Bob Dobbs and tENT himself. The pair snuck it into an actual peepshow booth, where it ran (unbeknownst to the management) for two weeks. Thanks to curators Jytte Jensen and Steve Anker, Balling Tim Ore Is Best eventually made its way out of Baltimore's Block to be included as part of the "Big As Life" series at the Museum of Modern Art in NYC on February 15, 2001.

"My purpose, at least, was to fuck w/ the way capitalism diverts & profits off of even the most basic drives," tENT explained.


Yeah, but "Balling Tim Ore" is best-er!

The backstory, according to tENT:

My friend "Dick Hertz" gets a job as a "peep show mechanic" editing peep show movies for 2 places in BalTimOre's 'Block' porn district. He brings me into the job & we scheme together to do something to take advantage of the environment. For 6 wks we work, unbeknownst to the management, on our own super-8 movie called Balling Tim Ore is Best. This edits together our footage w/ the pre-fab footage that we usually edited for the peeps. Our movie deliberately subverts the building to a climax structure that peep show movies usually have. After all, most of these movies are designed to assist guys (or pervert & exploit their need) in jerking off. We snuck the film into a peep show & showed it for 2 wks before swiping it back. Our movie leads them on & then detumesces & diverts their expectations. B/c of this, & other projects of mine, I'm branded a "pornographer" & at least one person tries to prevent a screening of my work by trashing some of it..."

Then, in a bitter aside, he adds:

Now, is Balling Tim Ore is Best an avant-garde work? Yes, if one considers how expanded cinema it is to make something site-specific like this & to put unusual content in a very rigorously content-restrictive environment. &, yet, will you ever witness it in a collection of "American Avant Garde Film 1947-1986"?! Highly fucking unlikely! SO, will it eventually be historicized under "transgressive"? That's also unlikely I think! More likely, Dick & I will be written off as a coupla weirdo pervert creeps - despite Dick's being what's becoming more & more coopted by academia: a trannie.

Recalling the stunt, collaborator Dick Hertz said "It was hilarious, and in fact, it was the birthplace of Larry Vega, who was loosely based on our boss, Sam Greenberg."


"The Larry Vega Show," 8x10 Club, Baltimore, early '80s.

Sam Greenberg was a legendary fixture on Baltimore's Block. According to the City Paper (Van Smith, "What's Around the Block," 2/2/2000), Greenberg made a splash back in April of 1991, when he paid porn star Christy Canyon $10,000 to appear at the Sweden video bookstore for a promotional event. (See Michael Olesker's April 23, 1991 Baltimore Sun article "Fantasies turn porno actress into movie queen" for details.) I wonder if Greenberg knew he was the inspiration for The Larry Vega Show? [As "Larry Vega," Dick Hertz hosted a fake TV talk show in the Galaxy Ballroom of the Congress Hotel and, later, at the 8 X 10 Club. Larry’s co-stars were "Corky Niedermayer" (aka Mark Harp, who also portrayed Oprah Winfrey), "Stoc Marcut" (Scott Marcus as Dr. Ruth, Tom Snyder and others), and "Morry Fine and his All-Blind Orchestra," as well as a Who's Who of area artists and musicians (including Boy Meets Girl/Elements of Design bass player Ira Kessler as a shirt-shredding Incredible Hulk and Henningers Tavern co-owner Kenny Veith as "Buzz Bourbon"!). As Scott Carberry recalls, "Larry’s show was deliberately vulgar & politically incorrect – glorying in moronic tv spoof humor. His stock phrase was 'What the hell ya gonna do?'."]


Block buster: "Balling Tim Ore" gets private screening treatment

Hertz continues: "We cut it together at our [Hertz's and Mark Harp's] house on 25th st. Harp and I also shot a whole roll of Bob Dobbs heads, and Tent and I would splice them in subliminally to all the films...heaven only knows how many pervs get a boner when they see [Church of the SubGenius's Bob Dobbs lookalike] Mitt Romney today....as we toiled there, changing the films and fixing the projectors and video gear, the muzak would play all day on a loop...among the songs was Frank [Sinatra]'s version of "nice work if you can get it"....it was surreal hearing that song while watching a 45 year old whore in a schoolgirl getup chowing down on a giant black cock....Tent eventually released a version of the film featuring that song as the soundtrack."


Dobbs & Romney: The Spurting Image of One Another?

Finally, tENT framed the faux peepshow movie as an homage to him - as our "God of Fertility" - by the City of Baltimore and Mayor William Donald Schaeffer, as excerpted from footnotes:

Employed as a "Peep Mechanic" recently (assembling peep-show "specials" for 123 projectors from stock footage from the porn place's film library) I was pleasantly surprised to note that the day day before i quit this job the city of Bal Tim Ore honored my having worked thre (apparently unknown to the management) by putting into one of the booths an approximately 20 minute sex ad for myself (& my co-worker: Dick Hertz) entitled Balling Tim Ore Is Best (a clever variation on the city's official bumper sticker: Bal Tim Ore Is Best) - always pleased to spend my generous hourly wage of $4.23 which I received for my mandatory minimum 48 hour work week, I paid to watch this film to make sure that it adequately conveyed my awesome sexual abilities - I am pleased to report that it did so quite well with such scenes as those of: a dildo spurting real sperm onto a suggestion box (the shot of which consisted of a rubber cunt, my face spinning & contorting with simulated vomit on it (apparently filmed with a hidden camera by one of my voyeur admirers), & animation of vegetables & various other objects fucking on a Hustler centerfold - as seen through a keyhole matte - all alternating with genrous helpings of cum-shots, bondage, urolagnia, angelic homosexuality, special effect blow-jobs, & elderly men consorting with the younger generation - therefore, I want to thank Mayor William Donald Schaeffer an the Citizens of Bal Tim Ore for paying tribute to me (their God of Fertility) & want them to know that, even though I don't love them, I am, as always, more than willing to "stick it to them." - TIM ORE

Ouch! That barb cuts like a knife, but (as Bryan Adams once crooned), it feels so right.

This cinematic prank was a forerunner of Tyler Durden's subversive projectionist antics in (the 1996 Chuck Palahniuk novel and 1999 David Fincher film) Fight Club.


Tyler Durden goes for the burn

You know the scene: the one where Tyler explains how he inserts subliminal pornographic images into mainstream family films:

In a cinema projection booth, The Narrator (Edward Norton) introduces his friend Tyler (Brad Pitt). The latter sits hunched over a reel of tape.

"Let me tell you about Tyler Durden," The Narrator begins. "Tyler was a night person. While the rest of us were sleeping, he worked. He had a part-time job as a projectionist. See, a movie doesn't come on one big reel. It comes on a few. So someone has to switch projectors at the exact moment one reel ends and the next begins. If you look for it, you can see two little white dots come into the right hand corner of the screen."

Two little white dots come into the right hand corner of the screen.

"In the industry," Tyler interjects, "we call them cigarette burns."

"That's the cue. They switch projectors, the movie keeps going, no one in the audience has any idea."

Tyler: "Why would anyone want this shit job?"

The Narrator: "Because it affords you interesting opportunities."

Tyler: "Like splicing single frames of pornography into family films."

"So," The Narrator continues, "when the snooty cat and the courageous dog meet in reel three, that's when you'll catch Tyler's contribution."

On screen, something fleshy and engorged flashes past. In the audience, a small child begins to cry; its mother looks round anxiously.

"Nobody knows they saw it. But they did."

Similarly, nobody knows just how much of tENT's work is out there. But it is. But few bother to read the small print, the footnotes.

*** Related Links/Further Readings ***

to footnotes

to books by tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE (goodreads)

to A Mere Outline for One Aspect of a Book on Mystery Catalysts, Guerrilla Playfare, booed usic, Mad Scientist Didactions, Acts of As-Beenism, So-Called Whatevers, Psychopathfinding, Uncerts, Air Dressing, Practicing Promotextuality, Imp Activism, etc..

to tENT's Personal Favorites

to "Press: Criticism, Interviews, Reviews"

to "tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE - Sprocket Scientist" home page

to Complete Movieography

to tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE's tape/CD publishing label: WIdémoUTH