One in the eyes of God is a majority. - Anonymous religious fanatic
I blogged the other day about a YouTube clip of the "Save the Earth" song from my favorite Godzilla film of all-time, Yoshimitsu Banno's formula-breaking 1971 masterpiece Gojira tai Hedorah (Godzilla Vs. The Smog Monster). I love this film because it is unlike any other in the Godzilla canon. It has a European feel that is almost what I would call "artsy." It had hot young Japanese babes gyrating to psychedelic music in discos, hallucinatory scenes of people's faces tranforming into fish heads, Godzilla fire-propelling himself backwards (for the first time ever!). And, more importantly, it featured a little Japanese kid (Hiroyushi Kawase, who previously appeared in Gozilla Vs. Megallon) going "Bang! That's wild!" after his scientist father explained nuclear fission - a video clip that I never tired of using ad infinitum on my old public access show Atomic TV. I love this movie so much that I have at least 5 versions of it, including a Spanish-only dub because I wanted to hear what "Bang! That's wild!" soundly like en Espanol.
Little Hiro says "Bang! That's wild!"
An Inconvenient Truth: Smog Monster Rules
But that clearly disturbs some Godzilla purists. And there is no G-fan purer than John David Cawley, erstwhile rock star with Garage Sale, Berserk, the Nu-Beats, Order Now!, The Lumpies and (much to his shame) The Young Prufrock Alliance (who - besides everyone - can forget their magnum opus "I'm In a Study Group"?).
In fact, my affection for this film irked Big Dave Cawley (Founder, Godzilla Purists Preservation Society) so much that he left this message on my answering machine last night.
"Hey I was reading your blog today and, I'm sorry, but you walk in darkness! Godzilla Vs. the Smog Monster is, like, the worst one! What's wrong with you? Get with the program! Almost every other Godzilla film is better than that one. I mean, the only one that possibly comes close is Godzilla's Revenge, but, c'mon. Ugh. Smog Monster is so lame!
And I'll have you know that Toho's head Ishiro Honda told the director of Smog Monster, Yoshimitsu Banno, that he would NEVER direct another Godzilla film for him!
You're the only one I know who likes that one. C'mon man, THESE THINGS ARE IMPORTANT! You have to stop! You can't champion that film! They're so many other worthy contenders!"
I obviously struck a nerve. There are just certain lines you don't cross with Dave. Like The Clash. Cilantro. Frank Zappa. And Michael Bolton. The untouchables. Like the Israelis when it comes to talking to terrorists, these are non-negotiable subjects.
ADDENDUM: After posting this blog, I ran across an album cover that probably best explains Dave Cawley's Hedorah loathing. It's Frank Zappa's Sleep Dirt (aka Hot Rats III), and it features a creature looking very much like Hedorah on the cover. An unholy union?
Hollywood beauty Scarlett Johansson has landed the lead role in the x-rated biopic of the world's biggest porn star. The 22-year-old was personally picked by Jenna Jameson to chart her transformation from ballet dancer to stripper, before making it big in the adult film industry.
Jameson says of her casting, "I tapped up Scarlett for the part and I'm very excited about the film.
"It was my decision not to play the role because I've lived that tale already and anyone can play themselves."
The movie will be based on Jameson's bestselling autobiography, How To Make Love Like A Porn Star.
FUNNY? DO I MAKE YOU LAUGH AM I SOME KIND OF CLOWN FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT? WHAT WAY AM I FUNNY? WHAT THE F*CK IS SO FUNNY ABOUT ME ???
Joe Pesci To Wed Angie Everhart
Joe Pesci and Sylvester Stallone's ex Angie Everhart have become Hollywood's oddest couple after becoming engaged in Atlantic City, New Jersey.
Tough guy Pesci, 64, proposed to leggy model/actress Everhart, 37, during a weekend getaway - after deciding the couple's seven-year-old friendship should move up to the next level. Insiders claim the couple is now planning a spring wedding.
Pesci has been married three times before, while flame-haired Everhart has romanced Stallone and Prince Albert of Monaco, among others. She was briefly married to George Hamilton's son Ashley.
WELL, WHO WANT TO ANSWER A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS FROM "BOOTY SHAKING" TEENAGERS ANYWAY?
NEW YORK (Hollywood Reporter) - The CNN-YouTube debate featuring the Republican presidential candidates could be delayed after at least two contenders said they won't be able to make it to Florida on September 17.
Although a decision might not be made for several days, it's becoming increasingly likely that the debate will be moved in order to accommodate the candidates. Only three -- Texas Rep. Ron Paul, Arizona Sen. John McCain and former Wisconsin Gov. Tommy Thompson -- have committed to the event. Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani and former Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney have said that they can't make the current date for the debate, which will be held at the Mahaffey Theatre in St. Petersburg, Fla.
"We're still in discussions with the campaigns to resolve scheduling issues," CNN Washington bureau chief David Borman said.
It's a change from CNN's first debate using YouTube video, which was held this month in Charleston, S.C. The Democratic National Committee's approval made it mandatory for all of the party's candidates to attend. That isn't the case for the Republican candidates, who are campaigning nationwide as the primary season ramps up.
CNN has been trying to work with the candidates to find an appropriate time for the debate, which features video questions of less than 30 seconds directed to either one candidate or all of them. The Democrats' debate included two hours of questions picked from 2,000 entries on YouTube.
1 LINDSAY LOHAN 2 EVA HERZIGOVA 3 EVA LONGORIA 4 BRITNEY SPEARS 5 PENELOPE CRUZ 6 COURTNEY LOVE 7 JENNIFER ELLISON 8 KEIRA KNIGHTLEY 9 PAMELA ANDERSON 10 SIENNA MILLER 11 UMA THURMAN 12 PARIS HILTON
I like big butts and I cannot lie. - Sir Mixalot, "Baby Hath Back"
Like Sir Mixalot, I cannot lie about a love I have that darest not speak its name. Well, not in front of my girlfriend, anyway. Blame it on Rio, or more specifically on Brazilian bombshell Keity Ines.
Keity Ines defines the form
Or blame it on her neighbor, comely Colombian cutie Lucia Tovar.
Lucia Tovar rests her case
Or blame it on rudely robust Romanian pornstar Sandra Romaine.
Sandra Romaine shows off her assets
Or blame it on any number of well-rounded women whose pear-shaped bottoms (perhaps definitively defined in the textbook photo below) have inspired me to take pen to paper and write these lines in tribute to their haunty haunches. For these women's forms give substance to the idea that there may be a divine designer who shapes our "ends" (rough hew them though we may).
Herein is my poem about the pear-shaped bottom and why it appeals to the baser instincts of men like me who slavishly follow the biological imperatives of their genetic code. For like Andrew Marvel, I believe a woman's beauty is equal to the sum of her parts. But some parts are more equal than others.
THE PEAR: An Old School Ode Upon a Cute Bottom by T. S. Warner
PART I:THE INVOCATION
I am The Dreamer who dreams The Dream I am The Weaver who weaves what is with what it seems I am The Poet whose lofty thoughts would take wing Invoke me, milady, and to thy wonders will I sing
PART II:THE FRUIT OF THE MATTER
I would like to say that I fell in love With the first glance of your fair face But in truth your wonder was revealed to me As was the Nightengale to Keats, perched in a tree But my bough bore fruit, a most perfect pear I mean, my lady, your lovely derriere
PART III: THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT
Like Eve you tempted me to taste forbidden fruit And with hungry eyes I consumed you to the core And found not, like Adam, a rotten apple But a glutton's craving for yet more
PART IV: SHE BLINDED ME WITH SCIENCE
For every action there's an equal and opposite reaction States Mr. Newton's Third Law of Motion Thus the hypothesis of your undulating perfection Finds its proof in my corresponding emotion
Yet the buoyancy of your ripened mounds Would cause Newton to question his own sanity For he tells us an apple is inclined towards the ground While your hanging fruit defies gravity
PART V: AVON CALLING
So if, as the Bard of Avon claims A divine hand shapes our ends Then I'll devoutly worship yours And cry to the Heavens, "Amen!"
PART VI: IT'S ALL GREEK TO ME
Yes gladly would I forsake the world for you, mon amour As did the Lotus-Eaters, who vowed to sail no more Content to worship a magic fruit the remainder of their days So I remain entranced by your soft-skinned pear in its hypnotic sway
After watching the Live Earth telecast, I ran across this techno remix of "Save the Earth" from my favorite Godzilla movie, Yoshimitsu Banno's 1971 magnum opus GOJIRA TAI HEDORA (aka GODZILLA VS. HEDORAH and GODZILLA VS. THE SMOG MONSTER). Once again, Godzilla proves his timeless relevance!
Of course you can't improve on the psychedelic original:
Saturday, July 21. We worm our way up Mt. Royal to see Artscape proper, our mission to see the Maryland Film Festival Films-in-a-Tent, the Laure Drougoul-curated Ceci n'est pas exhibit Foodcourt performers (since Amy hasn't seen them), MICA's Decker Gallery and Fox buildings to see the the art displayed there.
Mission was accomplished. But the fun was getting there. Here are my remaining pix from Artscape 2007.
Ashes to ashes, sawdust to sawdust. Outside the Lyric.
The Tomb of the Unknown Artist. Wakes held nightly at the Mt. Royal Tavern
Mission Statement for all artists. It's all about the Benjamins! Become an Artist and never work again!
The Nay-Saying Neo-Cons Kiosk
Art without wine is like sex without the masks. Beautiful Babs and friend get fortified with Sangria
Rugrats try to turn Squirrel Statue into roadkill
Art solves the parking problem
Chicks love phallic monoliths
Arty combo rocks out in the Food Court
Senior Moment: Amy spaces out in front of an exhibit in the Fox Building
My impression of the Bengies Drive-In during a meteor storm
Amy interacts with art
Who Needs Cable?: Video Installation at Fox Building
Frosted Strawberry Pop Tart face video installation
"Whatever you do, don't look down!": Chris the Plumber of Jensen Plumbing talks his girlfriend Shannon through a Spot-a-Pot plumbing crisis in the Artscape Food Court
My friend Steve Intlekofer turned me on to two books for which I'm eternally grateful. One was Klaus Kinski's fascinating autobiography, Kinski Uncut, a brisk read whose 322 pages are filled with the horny Hun's accounts of (by my meticulous count) 135 documented sexual conquests - from Inge on page 39 to Carmen, Moravia and Chloe on page 320. (And that's not including alleged trysts with his mom and daughter Nadia!)
The other was Luigi Serafini's Codex Seraphinanus (first published in 1981, first American printing 1983), a 190-page book that was written entirely in an unrecognizable language and illustrated with the most bizarre images this side of M.C. Esher or Hieronymous Bosch. It is the very definition of "curi-oddity." According to Wikipedia, "The Codex Seraphinianus is a book written and illustrated by the Italian architect and industrial designer Luigi Serafini during thirty months, from 1976 to 1978...the book...appears to be a visual encyclopedia of an unknown world, written in one of its languages, an incomprehensible (at least for us) alphabetic writing." Another source claims that "Seraphinianus" is an acronym for Strange and Extraordinary Representations of Animals and Plants and Hellish Incarnations of Normal Items from the Annals of Naturalist/U nnaturalist Luigi Serafini.
Steve actually owned this amazing book (as did another friend/colleague/collector of rarities, Marc Sober). Luckily for me, the library where I work owns this exhorbitantly priced rarity (used copies of which go for $300 and upwards on eBAY to $4,000 for a publisher's First Edition).
I had almost forgotten about this madcap manuscript until my artist friend Sook stopped by work the other day and, given that she is always enthusiastic about discovering new wonders, I put the book before her and asked her if she had ever heard of it before. She was fascinated by it, especially by Serafini's imaginary language in which the entire book is written, and said she was going to try and incorporate its themes into her paintings.
The Codex’s only real precursor in terms of invented languages is The Voynich Manuscript, which was allegedly discovered by Polish book collector Wilfrid M. Voynich in a wooden chest at an Italian Jesuit college in 1912. According to an article in the magazine The Believer, the profusely illustrated manuscript was worked on by top code-breakers during World War II who were unable to fathom it.
"They failed. It’s never been deciphered. Theories on its origin and significance abound, including the theory that the manuscript is a fraud perpetrated by Voynich himself, but the most popular and conclusive theory attributes the work to Roger Bacon, the medieval Franciscan friar who, in his Letter Concerning the Marvelous Power of Art and Nature and the Nullity of Magic, noted that “certain persons have achieved concealment by means of letters not then used by their own race or others but arbitrarily invented by themselves."
SOLVE THE CODEX
The Website Codex Seraphinianus Solved claims to have solved the mystery by consulting various Rosetta Stone language CDs:
The writing system used in his book appears to be modelled on ordinary Western-style writing systems, but with letters that curve into each other in patterns that cryptologists and linguists have been unable to break.
However, the number system used for numbering the pages has been cracked by a Bulgarian linguist, Ivan Derzhanski of Sofia, Bulgaria ( his web page may be seen at http://www.math.bas.bg/~iad/serafin.html ).
SEE THE CODEX
Can't afford to drop $300-$4,000 for Codex Seraphinianus? Well, you don't have to. Somebody named cottoncandyhammer uploaded scans of the entire book to Flickr:
Or check it out of your local library, if applicable. Luckily, it's owned by a number of academic libraries; I won't name them here, because I don't want it to go on "permanent loan."
DANCE THE CODEX
In 2003, I saw the Lyon Opera Ballet perform a surrealist ballet based on the CODEX SERAPHINANUS at the Kennedy Center in Washington, D.C. It was the greatest thing I ever saw - like Cirque de Soleil choreograped by Salvador Dali based on designs by Timothy Leary! It was called TRICODEX and was created by French choreographer Phillipe Decoufle, who had previously tackled Luigi Serafini's creations two earlier dance performances, Codex and Decodex. It had people dancing on stilts and trampolines - and the mind-blowing costumes! I remember being particularly taken by Carrot Bottom (the polar opposite of ginger comedian Carrot Top, I suppose), a half woman/half carrot creature. Though critics pointed out that it didn't have as much dancing as one would expect from a ballet company, that was probably because of the zany Dr. Seuss-like costumes and devices the dancers were required to wear and navigate around. I wish a had an all-region DVD players so I could see the French PAL DVD of these performances. Luckily there are some YouTube and other clips posted on the Internet.
This is the description of the performance from CLC Productions' 2005 French DVD release of Tricodex:
Tricodex is the fourth step in a process going back almost 20 years. The trigger was the Codex Seraphinus, an encyclopaedia of an imaginary world, written in an unknown language but, fortunately, copiously illustrated.
Anyway, here is some more information on the book and its author, Luigi Serafini.
THE UNOFFICIAL CODEX SERAPHINIANUS WEB SITE This web site is dedicated to giving information (what little there is) on the weirdest book in the world, the CODEX SERAPHINIANUS.
THE call letters KUNT have landed at a yet-unbuilt low-power digital television station in Wailuku, Maui.
Alarmingly similar to a word the dictionary says is obscene, the call letters were among a 15-page list of new call letters issued by the Federal Communications Commission and released this week.
The same station owner also received KWTF for a station in Arizona.
From Skokie, Ill., comes a sincere apology "to anyone that was offended," said Kevin Bae, vice president of KM Communications Inc., who requested and received KUNT and KWTF. It is "extremely embarrassing for me and my company and we will file to change those call letters immediately."
On the Net: » svartifoss2.fcc.gov/reports7/callsign.cfm He thanked your columnist for bringing the matter to his attention and pledged to, "make sure I don't fall asleep on the job when selecting call signs again."
One might understand how Bae's eyes could glaze over during selection, as KM has some 80 sets of call letters and alpha-numeric callsigns for TV and radio stations in several states.
No KM station is yet on the air in Hawaii but its mainland TV stations carry programming from America One Network, My Network TV and the CW.
The call letter snafu was a source of great mirth for Bae's attorney.
"I can't tell you how long he laughed at me when he learned of my gaffe," Bae said.
Broadcasters for generations have joked among themselves about call letters resembling off-color words or acronyms knowing the FCC would never approve their assignment -- but that was before computerization.
KCUF-FM near Aspen, Colo. got its F-word-in-reverse call letters in August of 2005 and has been on the air since December, "Keeping Colorado Uniquely Free," its Web site says. Uh, yeah.
Station officials could not be reached, but the automated pop-music slinger has been written about twice in the Aspen Daily News. The paper said radio regulators "blessed the call letters."
However, assignment of call letters actually is an automated process, according to Mary Diamond of the FCC's Office of Media Relations. Broadcasters use the FCC Web site to request and receive call letters with no oversight from Beavis, his partner, or any FCC regulator.
Dude, seriously. Even after years of concerns over broadcast indecency and the debate about fines for fleeting profanities that hit the air.
The Code of Federal Regulations allows applicants to request call letters of their choice as long as the combination is available. Further, "objections to the assignment of requested call signs will not be entertained at the FCC," it states.
Erika Engle is a reporter with the Star-Bulletin. Call 529-4747, fax 529-4750 or write to Erika Engle, Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., No. 7-210, Honolulu, HI 96813. She can also be reached at: eengle@starbulletin.com
I blogged the other day about a YouTube clip of the "Save the Earth" song from my favorite Godzilla film of all-time, Yoshimitsu Banno's formula-breaking 1971 masterpiece Gojira tai Hedorah (Godzilla Vs. The Smog Monster). I love this film because it is unlike any other in the Godzilla canon. It has a European feel that is almost what I would call "artsy." It had hot young Japanese babes gyrating to psychedelic music in discos, hallucinatory scenes of people's faces tranforming into fish heads, Godzilla fire-propelling himself backwards (for the first time ever!). And, more importantly, it featured a little Japanese kid (Hiroyushi Kawase, who previously appeared in Gozilla Vs. Megallon) going "Bang! That's wild!" after his scientist father explained nuclear fission - a video clip that I never tired of using ad infinitum on my old public access show Atomic TV. I love this movie so much that I have at least 5 versions of it, including a Spanish-only dub because I wanted to hear what "Bang! That's wild!" soundly like en Espanol.
